Of Dogs And Bloodsuckers
by preefics
Summary: Bella and Edward's 10th anniversary.


"Edward! Nessie has gone off with Jacob again!"

"_That dog_!"

"Who, Jacob or Nessie?"

"Hmph, I can't tell anymore. She spends so much time with him, she is almost a dog herself now! I see them sucking face together all the time!"

"Hey, don't call my daughter dog!"

"Well, then you shouldn't let her spend so much time with all those wolf packs!"

"Look who's talking! If you and your folks didn't dote on her so much, she would listen to her parents a bit more!"

"Whose side are you on here, woman?"

"Edward, don't pout. You ruin the whole vampire effect…you should snarl more. Yes, there you go, now _that_ is scary! You should try that more often with Nessie. Then she wouldn't run away from school so much!"

"Bella, stop putting all the blame on my daughter! That dog has been after my kid _before _she was even freaking born!"

"Argh! You are impossible!"

"Bella, you do realize that you are screaming at me on our 10th anniversary?"

"And you do realize that I am yelling because _somebody_ had absolutely no clue about this anniversary before his daughter _reminded _him!"

"See, that's why my daughter deserves extra love from me today! At least I could get you a present in time."

"Hmmn, forever becoming too boring for you, vampire? There was a time when you used to be the romantic one, remember?"

"Aww, Bella baby. You know it's not like that. And don't turn your back to me when I speak to you!"

"Then tell me, Edward, why have you been so off with me lately? Any new girl catch your _nose_ at school? Did you discover a _new_ brand of heroin?"

"Bella, I cannot _believe_ we are having this conversation on our anniversary! Now come here and let me show my wife how much I love her."

"Hey don't kiss my neck when I am mad at you!"

"What? I don't want to fight today, of all days! We have got an eternity to fight as much as we want."

"Edward, get off me…ahhh that tickles!"

"Did I ever tell you what an amazing neck I think you have…mmm…delicious _and_ beautiful."

"You used to tell me…sniff… all the time."

"Ahh, my sweet Bella, my beautiful swan, you also have the cutest little bottom I have seen in a century."

"Will you kiss me already?"

"Impatient, I see…shall I tease a little more?"

"Oh my god, that feels _good_!"

"Shit Bella, why do you have to wear so many damned cloths?"

"Edward, just shut the hell up and take them off already!"

"Uh wait, I can't get that button open…"

"Rip it off, you idiot! Do you have super vampire strength or what?"

"Bella, don't you think we should take this little interlude to our room at least before anyone drops in on us…"

"Edward, Bella! I am ho…you guys! Ewwww! Oh my god, I can't believe you made me see that!"

"Nessie! Oh Edward, get your limbs off of me!"

"Where were you, young lady? Your mother has been eating my brains!"

"And how many times do I have to tell you to call us mom and dad?"

"Mom! We go to the same school! Geez! Do you want everyone to know that my foster brothers and sisters are _actually _my uncles and aunts and mom and dad? By the way, mom, could you please not wear that particular top? You are supposed to be my older sister not younger."

"Hmph, speaking of school, you weren't there this morning. Where were you?"

"I was at home, mom."

"Don't use that innocent tone on me, young lady. And you were so not home!"

"Course I was! Just because I wasn't at school doesn't mean I wasn't at home either! Dad, Jacob and I spent all morning doing you a humungous favor and you just stand there and let her yell at me like that?"

"Favor? What favor?"

"Go upstairs and look for yourself. And please keep your sexual encounters to yourself from next time, folks!"

"Oh please, it's not like you walked in on us for the first time!"

"Exactly mom! I have frankly had _enough _of it! Now go upstairs you two. And don't wait up for me…I will be spending the night with Jacob to give you guys some privacy and escape all the noise you'll be making! Tata..."

"Hey wait a minute…"

"Bye, daddy dear, see you in the morning!"

"Come on, Bella, lets see what's upstairs."

_Whoosh_

"Awwww…look, Edward, she made us candlelight dinner. Donated human blood for a change, my favorite… and oh look at all these flowers and there's even a spare headboard!"

"My baby!"

"Don't cry, Edward."

"Nope…sniff…just a little dust in my eye."

"So dinner first, or should we carry on with the kissing?"

"Let's break a bed, darling!"


End file.
